Arguments are common in most relationships, its actually a type of communication that helps to build and make the relationship grow into a formidable status. In fact i strongly recommend that whenever an argument arises in a relationship partners should take that opportunity to air out their differences in a more measured and mature way. What most partners do is that they all want to be listened and none is willing to be responsible for any misdoings thrown in their way, when this happens solutions can never be reached. Consequently, partners are forced to make hasty harsh decisions that after some few days they be like ” What was i thinking when i said that?” and soon enough you will be visiting your attorney to file a divorce or be moving out, leave alone experiencing lonely sleepless nights, unanswered calls and getting ‘blue-ticked’ in whatsapp .
Its really quite helpful to take a minute to recollect and calm down, so that you don’t lash out at your partner without thinking through what you want to say. This helps one to be able to listen and try to ascertain their partners motive. A heated argument will always lay bare the true intentions of partners in a relationship. I believe that underneath it all, men are usually trying to find women who will give them good sex, and women are usually trying to find men who will give them loyalty and commitment.
Being calm will help one to save a relationship that is in the rocks. Most partners during an argument dont actually mean what they say, statements like ” Its over” “I never wanna see you again” ” Am leaving” etc. Are usually the opposite of the intended meaning. Most especially if its coming from a lady, dude she doesn’t want it over neither does she want to leave and she wants to see you everyday in every possible moment in her life. So just dont play a victim too but “sit down be Humble” accept your mistake and even if she is wrong save that until the time she will be able to listen to you.
Man made money, money makes a man fall in love in dynamic
ways. Ever Heard the famous phrase keeping up with the Jones’s? we all try to
make ends meet in all sorts of ways and in the end be able to meet the high
demands set by these adorable women. It’s no lie they set standard to us and to
reach them we have to climb higher and higher up the success mountain. When
there we sit down and enjoy with our ladies and all the pleasures that comes
with having money.
So how really can one spend money in the most pleasurable
Definitely by falling in love. Am of the opinion that love
doesn’t exist where there is no money and that’s why I can say boldly, Money
finds love. There’s an exception that love can exists where there is no money
and then make money later. I agree, however with the former, it comes with an
assurance of stability, security and infinite adventures while the latter
promises potential and total patience, a thing of the past.
In our world today, people fall in love with what they see
and not what the future holds. Money rules and love conquers. Men become kings,
emperor and knights. They Pamper their women, they show them a different world
because everything fun and entertaining is affordable to them.
Ephesians 5:28,33, proclaims that men should love their
wives as much as they love themselves. If you fancy fashionable clothes, high
end vacations, flashy and sporty automobiles then you’re bound to have an easy way
around women. If you want proof just look around you, see how successful people
in all aspect of life are balling with the most intelligent and prettiest.
The illusion that women fall in love with the money and not
the possessor is unfound and stupid. As much as we need women they also need
us, in fact much much more than we do. It’s not always about money to them but
companion. Once a woman feels her mental and physical needs are well taken care
of, then she is bound to love, care and support you throughout your lifetime as
long as you continue to maintain your share of the bargain. Never ever fail to
satisfy her deepest needs. Money can do all these and that isn’t conditional.
Though I admit there are few exceptions to the opinion that
women can’t fall in love with money but the possessor. It’s true they can, in
fact to an extent where without these money, you can’t have their time. It is
that serious. It’s like a business where the ladies are sellers and the men
buyers. I have known lots of men who have been enslaved as money boreholes. Desperate
men who have lots of cash and ladies take advantage of them. Incessant requests
for money after every 3-5 days and if their request is declined forget about
them until when you will be able to meet that. Dude if you’re a hustler and money comes in
the hard way these kind of ladies aren’t for you; you have to run as fast as
you can while you still have something in your account.
It isn’t easy to tell when you have someone who really loves you and not your money. The one you think actually loves you for you might be loving your resources instead and the one who really loves you for you might think they are loving your money. Women are the same the difference is that they evolve and become something else. It’s actually not surprising if the one who loved you truly eventually evolve to love your finances more and vice versa.
I saw her and pretended not to have. But just as I was about to book a taxi after a busy day in office I saw her again. This time my eyes glued at where she was going but then she turned instantly, our eyes met. She waved at me and disappeared! How could that be possible? She was the girl I have been checking out trying to get her on a date with me but reaching her was in vain. I did my research and realized she was single and working as an associate in a leading law firm in town a couple of blocks away from my place of work. Her name was Coleen, as an associate she never had the time, a common thing for most associates in busy law firms. I had to bid my time and await for the perfect moment to ask her out.
It was a Saturday morning, I was walking aimlessly down Pangani Street, and unlike all other streets in Nairobi, Pangani was the calmest and certainly perfect for a morning breeze walk. Through this all I couldn’t help but notice an odd behavior, perhaps one that disqualified my earlier suggestion that the street was calm but totally the opposite. Not exactly the place you would want to be in a Saturday morning. Four men had cornered a lady, probably the famous notorious gang that have been terrorizing pedestrians in this part of town, they were trying to snatch her bag and who knows maybe do something worse. So I moved close to the scene, one of the men saw me approaching and quickly signaled the others and as soon as the lady saw me she ran behind me.
It was me against four well-built men armed to the teeth. I still couldn’t absorb the fact that it
wasn’t a movie nor a dream but a reality. Stories of men and women being mugged
and clobbered for those who didn’t cooperate were out and everywhere. I just
didn’t buy them until then, I guess now I won’t be the one listening but I will
surely be speaking of it. They charged towards me uttering angry words, you
would think of their behavior as that of vultures snapped out of a meal by a
hungry hyena. I wasn’t a hyena of course, but a person who happened to be in a
wrong place at the right time.
The lady was behind me shaking vigorously while her arms clenched tightly on my chest. I felt her heart beat, she was scared. I was her only hope of rescue.
“Please help me…am so scared!” she whispered frantically.
The tone from her voice and the way she held me, made my adrenaline rose in a way I had never felt before. With that I felt I could take all the four men down, one by one. I took position and rolled my fingers into a ball of fist, Mayweather style. I was ready. As they were moving closer, I stood and waited. But just as they moved closer I realized they were scared and definitely not ready for a fight. I wasn’t ready too, I was simply playing the part.
But what else could they want? Money was their problem of course and I had plenty in my cargo pants, so I dug deep into the pockets and handed them a couple of notes. I believed the money was enough for a couple of weeks before they could hit the streets and terrorize an innocent hardworking soul. Surprisingly I expected them to demand more given they had the advantage in numbers but they didn’t, they took the money and fled.
I turned and looked at the victim I had just rescued, you wouldn’t believe it was Coleen!
The lady I had known so much about but she knew nothing of me. I had wanted to meet her in a perfect moment, how could we meet this way? What was she doing in this part of town? I had so many questions in my head but considering her situation I had to keep them to myself. I offered to take her to a calm place so that she can at least relax I was glad she didn’t decline.
I took her to the closest restaurant and let her order what she wanted; coffee, tea or water, she opted for coffee instead. She thanked me. I said it was nothing and I would do it again. She laughed. We all laughed. She talked so much about herself, her family and how she hated her work. She was looking for another job and that she was glad she had passed the interview. I was happy for her. It was a holiday and we had enough time together. We shared jokes and found out that we shared so much in common. It’s now over five months of dating.
To Coleen I was her knight in shining armor. To me she was heaven sent. A beauty, the kind that would embrace the front covers of magazines with a smile that illuminated the darkest corner of an abyss. Her laughter so contagious that wherever she went she left good vibes. I wouldn’t mind recording her laughing and then playing it over and over again. I would write a poem about her, I would sing for her. Just anything for Coleen. We connected at first sight, the beginning of the best moments in our life, how can I forget?
For every relationship out there, there is always a story
behind that represents a part of the original feelings couples felt for each
other in the first day. I call it “The
power of the Virgin connection”. Virgin in the sense that you’ve never met
anywhere before but when you do, you connect instantly in whatever situation
you find yourselves in. The most
interesting thing is that, we tend to forget most of the days we spent together
with our partners after the connection, but tend to feel refreshed regardless the years whenever the question
“Where did you first meet?’ pops up. It then becomes a question of should I
answer or should you?
People in fucked up relationship eat so much shit together that they don’t even recognize the taste after it all. It is at this point that they realize whatever used to be fun and exciting isn’t anymore, conversations have turned out to be boring and ends as soon as they started.
Every passing day the world changes so do people. Most of the time we fail to recognize this aspect in life. People in our life change, their dream and passion becomes broader and more objective whilst we remain stuck and conserved in our old ways. These becomes a problem in most relationships especially one that involves young adults. The age bracket is a period of renaissance; taste, attitude, behavior, dreams and ambition for more fascinating and intriguing life gets rejuvenated in a whole new level. The tendency to do new things and meet new goals grow every day.
When we fail to identify this transition, the relationship
will definitely sail against the winds. Disagreements, discontentment, disobedience
and disrespect creeps in and finally breaking up. I know that’s not what you
want, you want to keep your relationship watered and ever blazing. Someone will
ask, when exactly should one identify these changes and be able to adjust and
The answer is plain and simple; when an established pattern gets interfered with no doubt it’s enough to indicate your partner is in transition. These pattern are made up of the things you used to love doing consistently together and unfortunately now they have turned out to be monotonous and boring. For instance if you and your partner used to call or text each other occasionally sweet compliments during the day while in your up and about but after sometime you notice an irregularity in her calling and texting pattern or she tends to have excuses as to why she didn’t text or call back, then that means she is transitioning. That’s not a red flag at all, it’s something that can be managed easily. At this point, most people make the mistake of complicating matters instead of noting the change and adjust with their partners they start complaining and whining.
There are so many indicators to show your partner is in
transition and the best thing is to be adept enough to be able to realize this
shift to save your relationship. If initially you were a level above and she
transitions, that means she has gone above you. So to keep up note the change
and readjust to a higher level than her. There! There! Things will go back to
normal. I hope you get me.
Ding dong…echoed the door, a smartly dressed guy stood there waiting patiently. From His hairstyle a bob cut and nicely trimmed goatee it was so obvious to tell he was in his mid-twenties. He was that sort of a guy, you would love to put in front of your store to have a go’ at the female customers and you will realize within the shortest time possible that it works out so effortlessly. Before you know it, almost 70% of your customers will be ladies!
The door opened, an exquisitely beautiful
young lady emerged. She was wearing a pink jumpsuit, on her head a ‘legging’
held her long overflowing hair firmly, a very common and important garment for
ladies’ hair these days.
“Hello, how may help you?”
Am Ted from the Winslav Gifts and Presents Agency, I have been sent to deliver
these parcel to this address. Could you be Miss Maya Abbas?”
I am”. She answered nervously.
then you would have to sign here…and here” he indicated.
She hurriedly signed on the delivery form
picked the present and bid the attractive messenger goodbye. She tried to shake
and press firmly the gift box but she couldn’t easily tell what was inside.
Curiosity gnawed her and later escalated to higher levels by pressure from her
two friends and her sister. She finally tore the box apart.
“It is such a lovely dress”. A friend acknowledged.
“I love the details around your waist”.
Lauded the other.
“Can I have your life” envied the big
the dress was magnificently beautiful, short silky and fitting perfectly.
Whoever could be behind all that was someone who knew her very well, she
thought. Her eyes caught a letter among the things sent, a letter is always
meant to ice and warm, explain and clarify, soothe and relax the whole anxiety.
Contents from the letter simple and soothing again is always meant to drive her
to the moon and back thrice, awakening and confusing the good side of her.
knew you would look great in that dress, How about dinner this evening 1830hrs
at Hotel Solitaire? I’ll send a car.
that a question, one that you expect someone to say no, or to give out any sort
of available excuse, or was it that type of a request that is usually
skillfully scripted to force a yes?
way the gift and the words in the letter have been presented, it posed a great
dilemma to the lady. Most often ladies will find it difficult to turn away such
requests due to guilt of having received a gift and not appreciating by being
there physically, they will therefore tend to partially oblige to such request.
For instance, how does a lady feel around a guy when she wears a dress and accessories selected for her, will the confidence and ability to say no to some requests be derailed? Will it be like she’s tethered or trapped in a solitary confinement that she can only eat around the rope accepting anything thrown at her?
will argue and especially ladies that they expect such standards from men, but
what they fail to realize is that men can take advantage of that and
consequently develop a delusional sense of confidence towards them. With that
confidence they think they can do anything and go undeterred. The phrase “Real
men should treat women with respect”, become music to their ears.
some people the idea of a perfect date should always be in high end places
topped with gifts and presents while to some they prefer cheap thrills. After
all, dating is meant for communication to know, to understand and to rekindle
the love between partners at all levels. That’s what the latter would think
idea of a wonderful date should always be consentional, at one’s own time and
free will. If ladies have to be swept off their feet, as some men would put it,
then give them room to make their own choices, let them be comfortable with
what they choose to wear as this will give them confidence to cut off tongues
licking in the wrong places or just to simply put off unnecessary and lustful
should be fun and full of surprises, it’s actually kinda cool if you’re expecting
her while anxiously imagining “What is she wearing?” “Will she like the color
of my suit?”” Is the cologne am wearing too strong?”
That bit of unawareness plus consent from the two partners promises to be the basic ingredients of a fascinating and interesting date the rest are just luxuries, not necessarily needed. But if they have to be there, then they are there to fine coat an already glistening wall.
Mary jane has never settled in a relationship for more than 3 months. she is the type who believes if it doesnt work now it wont work out ever so she would rather venture into new pastures by dating multiple men. unfortunately, this is a cowardice approach. You cant keep running away from problems concerning matters of the heart.
The bold faces this problem and talk it out with their partners.Money is utterly the main cause of this problem, either there is little funds to help sustain the relationship goals or there is too much money that these goals are completely overshadowed. All the same there is power in dialogue, communication is essential in a relationship and if money issues are discussed properly then there wont be any future disagreement.